Allow my creative energy to flow as never before so that I can write a novel and have it published while I am in my 30's. Allow my confidence and passion to radiate so that I can be healthy like never before with renewed energy to take care of myself. Allow me to remove stress from my life and learn to remain calm and at peace regardless of the chaos that occurs around me.
Sometimes I have a hard time saying the words I want to say and they come out wrong. When I speak the words are sarcastic and cynical, when I don't mean them to be. I have been holding my tongue so long that my jaw hurts and the words tumble out like sharp knives.
Today. This moment. Right now. This is it. No worries. No regrets. No panic. Just relax. When things change, I embrace the change. I do not fret about the future. I do not worry about the things out of my control. I do not expect the worst. I look forward to the next day. I look forward to communication. I talk and I listen with an open mind and heart. I dream tonight, drift to sleep with good thoughts. Good things will come. I ask questions. I do not pretend. I do not hide myself. I am OK no matter what happens. I do not accept fear as my guide. I accept those I care about where they are right now. I hope for understanding. I believe in love. I experience miracles.
all this untangling has been exhausting. . .so tonight is it time to unwind.
Pad Thai, Counting Crows, a hot bubbly bath. . .my favorite lemongrass tea, and a nice little neck massage from my honey. I had to skip the knitting lesson today, I am not making much progress. . .I keep pulling it apart and starting over.
Time for a break.
Anna Begins-Counting Crows
My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
I am not worried, I am not overly concerned.
My friend implores me, "For one time only,
make an exception." I am not worried.
Wrap her up in a package of lies,
Send her off to a coconut island.
I am not worried, I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions.
"Oh," she says, "you're changing."
We're always changing...
It does not bother me to say this isn't love.
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love.
And I guess I'm gonna have to live with that.
But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey,
Or something in between,
And I can always change my name
If that's what you mean.
My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned.
You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself
To make yourself forget. To make yourself forget. I am not worried.
"If it's love," she said, "then we're gonna have to think about the consequences."
But she can't stop shaking and I can't stop touching her and...
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away. And Anna begins to change her mind.
"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days," she says.
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing.
But I'm not gonna break and I'm not gonna worry about it anymore.
I'm not gonna bend, and I'm not gonna break. And I'm not going to worry about it anymore.
It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."
But it's not all that easy, so maybe I should
Snap her up in a butterfly net and pin her down on a photograph album.
I am not worried cuz I've done this sort of thing before.
But then I start to think about the consequences,
And I don't get no sleep in a quiet room and...
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away. And Anna begins to change my mind.
And everytime she sneezes I believe it's love and,
Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.
She's talking in her sleep.
It's keeping me awake. And Anna begins to toss and turn.
And every word is nonsense but I understand and,
Oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.
Her kindness bangs a gong,
It's moving me along. And Anna begins to fade away.
