Monday, July 23, 2012

desires




poetry, music, light, positive energy, trust, understanding, companionship, traveling, listening, sharing, reading, writing, joy, art, photography, kissing, lovemaking, kindness, peace, calm, puppy, kitten, baby, ocean, flowers, breezes, security





openness, smiles, stability, exercise, health, healthy foods, cooking, road trips, sunshine, sunsets, forgiveness, grace, patience, laughter, connection, bliss, yoga, bike rides, sunsets, boat rides, coziness




baking, friendship, classes, pottery, photography, blogging, wandering, exploring, journaling, hiking, memories, creativity, stargazing and lots and lots of love.
Love needed, craved, wanted, desired and deserved.  





How do I allow myself to love and be loved? Wanting never to have the other person feel hurt or sadness.  Is that what love looks like? I don't want to see hurt or cause pain.   I'd never experienced true romantic love as the past was a complete letdown and a place of darkness.  
Letting go of baggage is hard when it is learned behavior.  But I am learning.
It is all new and truth be told a bit frightening.  
There is no chart for this path because it is uncharted territory for me.  
Being vulnerable is difficult for me, the tenderness of past wounds so easy to re-injure.  There has been a fountain of healing tears with each kind word and deed.  The smiles and the tears dissolve the walls.  The waves of anxiety and frustration will pass with time. 
I want his soft lips on mine.   
To talk with and to laugh with, and to hug him tightly.