Sunday, August 18, 2013

haunted

stop haunting my dreams
i release all of you
you have to let me go
and live with the choices
and decisions
there is no going back
no reliving the past
there's nothing left there
it's dormant for a reason
it needs to sleep
and it will not thrive
in another season

when you think of me
just smile and wish me well
that's all i want from all of you
if i don't release all of this
i won't ever be free to move on
let go of me
you screwed up
by letting me go
but it's done
i'm not watching any of it play out
anymore like a sad movie.
it's not worth the stomach flips
or the pictures in my head
or the bad dreams
of the times that never were
it wasn't fun when it was happening
and it wouldn't be fun now
i don't enjoy lingering in a swamp
of blah sad boy tears


i deserve better than this
i want joy and genuine tenderness
i don't want pipe dreams
and unrequited fantasies
the faces in my mind
have surely changed with time
and the man that you are
and you are
and you are
have changed
and i don't know you
and you don't know me,
and you don't get to know me now
because you didn't see
the value of me then


it's time to brush this past off of my heart
it casts too long of a shadow
that there is no glimmer of hope
in any of these hauntings
only pain.
i'm releasing you now
go live your life like you've already
been living
and just tuck me away deep
in your mind where I won't
disturb or stir up any dust



i'm the one who is alone
not you
but that 's the choice
keep away unless you're a good good man
and i've yet to find one who will stick
i let you go
i let myself heal from all of it
i thought i had let this go a long time ago
but it is obviously holding on
to my dreams and my heart
maybe you're dreaming of the life
you could have had with me
i see the shit i would have put up with
the lack of trust
the cheating
the lies
we were so young then
but how much do people really change
at the core?
behavior patterns?
was i just a special person on which to cheat?
to take up any more precious space
in my busy busy mind,
i've got things to do and a life to explore,
so go now and haunt me no more.