Wednesday, April 7, 2010

reverse the negative

Allow my creative energy to flow as never before so that I can write a novel and have it published while I am in my 30's.  Allow my confidence and passion to radiate so that I can be healthy like never before with renewed energy to take care of myself.  Allow me to remove stress from my life and learn to remain calm and at peace regardless of the chaos that occurs around me.
Sometimes I have a hard time saying the words I want to say and they come out wrong.  When I speak the words are sarcastic and cynical, when I don't mean them to be.  I have been holding my tongue so long that my jaw hurts and the words tumble out like sharp knives. 
Today.  This moment.  Right now.  This is it.  No worries.  No regrets.  No panic.  Just relax.  When things change, I embrace the change.  I do not fret about the future.  I do not worry about the things out of my control.  I do not expect the worst.  I look forward to the next day.  I look forward to communication.  I talk and I listen with an open mind and heart.  I dream tonight, drift to sleep with good thoughts.  Good things will come.  I ask questions.  I do not pretend.  I do not hide myself.  I am OK no matter what happens.  I do not accept fear as my guide.  I accept those I care about where they are right now.  I hope for understanding.  I believe in love.  I experience miracles. 
I am honest and truthful; I just want to be me.

Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it


Pick your pockets full of sorrow

And run away with me tomorrow


We'll try and ease the pain

But somehow we'll feel the same

Well, no one knows

Where our secrets go

I send a heart to all my dearies

When your life is so, so dreary


I'm rumored to the straight and narrow

While the harlots of my perils


And I fail

But when I can, I will

Try to understand

That when I can, I will

Mother weep the years I'm missing

All our time can't be given


Shut my mouth and strike the demons

That cursed you and your reasons

Out of hand and out of season

Out of love and out of feeling

So bad

When I can, I will

Words defy the plan

When I can, I will

Fool enough to almost be it

And cool enough to not quite see it

And old enough to always feel this

Always old, I'll always feel this

No more promise no more sorrow

No longer will I follow

Can anybody hear me

I just want to be me

When I can, I will

Try to understand

That when I can, I will
-Smashing Pumpkins

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