Sunday, November 27, 2011

my voice

 Not sure why I don't say what I am thinking or feeling sometimes.  The voice, my voice is ignored by me.  My thoughts tossed aside, unheard.  I feel like I am shouting but there aren't any words coming out.  If I ignore my voice how can I expect anyone else to listen?  I act as if my opinion does not matter and instead I play along.  I don't understand myself sometimes.  What do I really want?
 If you aren't willing to truly let down the walls then the baring of the truth cannot be revealed.  Oh the protective walls I've built all around me.  My flesh, my fantasies blocking me from true happiness.  Just enjoy and relax.  I don't need to figure everything out right now.
No matter how different our personalities are we are all connected by the need to be loved and understood.  We desire, we want to be accepted and held.  We want the people we love to be proud of us.  Our worth is determined by how much we value ourselves.  What is important, and what makes us feel like a success or a failure?
I want to find my voice once again.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

breaking out of the shell

Do we ever really start over from scratch.  How do you remove the stains and cracks and aches from the past?  Is it possible to look upon the world with a fresh perspective?  I tear away at the dead layers of past skin that doesn't matter anymore.  Wiser, stronger, more aware.  There is a line to walk between being cautious and scared.
There is always risk involved when you are vulnerable to another person.  It is exciting to get to know someone new.  New eyes look upon my glow, new words, thoughts, new music to match my dance.  Trust it and go with the flow.  A hand in my hand grasping gently in the direction of a new adventure.  It is foggy and beautiful, and the time is right for enjoying the moments as they come.
A chance that is taken is better than remaining in my protective shell.