This is one of the songs that reminds me of my first love. I wanted to move to Seattle over a decade ago, and because that love relationship fell apart, I stopped trying to live that dream. Now I am here. I didn't expect it. Had I made that move years ago there is so much that has happened since then that has shaped me into the person that I am that I would have missed. There are wonderful people that I wouldn't have met. Lips I wouldn't have kissed. The timing is God's timing, and when I try to rush into things, it doesn't work out. The worry and the anxiety, doesn't need to be.
I was digging through all my boxes searching for the title to my vehicle the past couple of days and I kept finding things that reminded me of the struggles and pain I went through this past year. It unearthed the feelings that I have been avoiding or maybe I have pushed below the surface. Reminders of mistakes I have made.
My mom has been such an encouraging person in my life. I have found so many cards, letters and little notes that she has given me over the years. I laughed and cried and dug through the next box and found more.
When I realize that I have moved so far away from my family and friends, it is bittersweet. I am doing what I wanted, and they encouraged me, but I feel like there are things that I am missing there. I can't just hang out with my mom any time I want. I can't drive over to my best friend's house to help her paint her kitchen. Our lives go on and they are voices on the phone, and they live their lives and I live mine. Parallel, but not directly intertwined.
I don't know what the future will be for me. Something led me to this place. After all the searching, the title was in the first box that I had opened, right where I thought it was all along. Now all the boxes are everywhere and and I will have to put everything back in place. I guess it was time for the reminders.