Monday, March 8, 2010

work in progress

I had a Body Mind & Spirit calendar last year and it had little exercises every month. The December challenge was to heal old wounds. That one stuck with me and I have been practicing since then.

It read:

Being at odds with others is harmful to physical, as well as emotional and spiritual health. Take the chance to heal old wounds and redress imbalances. Draw up a list of anyone you are on the outs with for any reason-they hurt your feelings, you hurt theirs. Acknowledge your part in the drama, and make amends where possible. Ask forgiveness and be willing to forgive everyone, including yourself.

It is like walking through mud at times. I have to slow down and take little baby steps. There is no running through this gauntlet. It is humbling. Sometimes scary. The more I allow forgiveness in my heart the better I have been feeling. I am attempting to let go of past grudges, mend burned bridges when possible and seek closure. As I made my mental list of hurts from the past, I realized that it traveled back a long way. Lots of unresolved wounds have been resurfacing. One by one. Diving to the bottom and dredging up the pain from the past. I am noticing that some of the clumps of muck I have been pulling up have been hiding little treasures that I wouldn't have found otherwise. I still have a way to go. Taking ownership of the responsibility in some cases is extremely challenging.

I am learning that being right isn't as important as being forgiving.

I know there will not be mutual forgiveness or acceptance from all. I will try nonetheless. I know that my heart is sincere in these attempts no matter what the outcome. I think the last part is the hardest of all; forgiving myself.

The more hurt I release the more room I have for love.

In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling, be just.
In daily life, be competent.
In action, be aware of the time and the season.

No fight: No blame. -Tao Te Ching (Lao Tsu)

(Body Mind & Spirit Calendar Silver Lining Calendar Duncan Baird Publishers)

1 comment:

Stacey said...

A situation from my past came up in the last two weeks and this totally addresses it. I need to embrace it and forgive for the health and well-being of me.

Love you!