Saturday, February 5, 2011

I have had a lot of time to myself this week.  Silence. Solitude.  Quietness.  My spirit has been resting in the comfort of my own company.  In the midst of this solitude, I have had a lot of time to think. Love is one of the things on my mind. 
God's love is so powerful and healing.  He loves us so much and wants to bless our lives.  He puts people in our lives to teach us more about ourselves.
Love can be found in a person who brings out the best in you.  A person you feel completely comfortable with and don’t ever feel uneasy with or judged. Someone who supports your dreams and wouldn't even think of holding you back for selfish reasons.  
Being able to share your thoughts and laugh.  Fitting together easily without resistance or awkwardness.  Maybe this person isn’t someone you end up spending your life with, but someone who shows you the possibilities of what love can be.  Maybe it was someone who only touched your life for a short time, but left a bigger impact than you even realized.  It can be revealed to you in a subtle quiet way, and it doesn’t even hit you until years later.  Maybe great love isn't mushy romantic love, but respect and appreciation for you being you and me being me.  Maybe that love is more about the love you can show yourself because you know you deserve to be treated good by the people who are in your life.  If you truly love yourself then you attract genuine love.      
I know myself a little bit better now. I don’t need to worry. Worry truly is the biggest waste of time.  It is the self doubt monster that creeps into my life and sucks my energy dry.  I am closing that door.  Failure doesn’t have to be viewed as failure.  The outcomes of my decisions are new starting points. Situations are never going to turn out the way I expect them to, so stop with the expectations already.  Expectations set us up for disappointment.  Be open to the possibilities because there is going to be something BETTER.   It may sound cliché but it is happening in my life right now.

I think it is important to share with people how much they mean to you.  It matters to be honest
with yourself and with others.  Be real.  Be yourself all the time.  Don’t hide in your shell.  If people don’t accept you for whom you are, then you aren’t spending time with the right people.  It is healing to shout love from the mountains.  It doesn’t matter if that love is reciprocated or rejected.  Let the love flow freely and it will flow in the right direction. 
It is ok to reflect on the past, but not to live there.  When you are working through the
pain and ignorance of the past sometimes it can lead to the greatest discoveries about yourself.  I am not scared or worried anymore.  I am me again.  Happy, bold and excited about life.  I love connecting with people.  I love to laugh.  I love blasting my music.  I love freedom.  

I have no regrets about the way that life has unfolded because it was all necessary to get me to this day.  I don’t know what tomorrow holds and I am not worried.  The fear is gone.

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