Monday, February 28, 2011


I like the word resilience.

Definition of RESILIENCE

1: the capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress
2: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change


It is so easy to fall into the victim mentality.  To be a victim of circumstances or choices.  To blame everyone else for everything that happens in my life.  It is easy to say I was "done wrong" or treated unfairly or unkindly.  I can point fingers and blame all day.  Victimization is a cop-out and it doesn't bring anything positive to any one's life.  It can wear down a person and suck all the joy out of life. 

I accept responsibility for my own choices.  All that I have chosen has led me to this moment.

Do you allow criticism or praise of others determine your self worth?  If the only reflection you have of yourself is influenced by others opinions, prepare for a rough road ahead.  To depend on others for your worth is to set yourself up for disaster.  You don't need anyone else's approval to be who you are.  This is your life.  Nothing anyone else has to say should penetrate your heart more than the internal conversation you have inside yourself.  No one else can be strong enough to carry you through life. Pick yourself up and carry on.  Hold your head high and listen to the loving voice inside your soul.

If I never had to deal with negative people it would be so much easier to get through life.  But the idealist still has to see the dirty, nasty, ugly side of human nature and accept that not everyone is loving.  Not everyone has my best interest in mind.  There are people who will hurt me in my life.  There are people who will try to manipulate and control me if they get the opportunity.  Bullies pick on the weak and if you allow yourself to be subjected to the cruelty then it will remain your pattern.  Perpetual victim does not sound like an appealing way to live life.  The way to avoid being picked on is to get back up and brush yourself off.  Take a deep breath, smile and be strong.  Be braver and wiser.  Be aware.

We are born into this life with the freedom to make our own choices.  Am I going to dwell on the sadness and pain?  Or am I going to realize and accept people the way they are.  I can spend my time with people who feed my soul and nurture it, and avoid energy suckers.  That is the beauty of free will.  If someone constantly puts you or himself down, or is cynical and mean all the time, get away from him. 

When you have victim mentality and you are subjected to a negative person; you can be influenced easily.  You can be dragged into darkness and sadness.  Gradually manipulated and seduced into a life of submission by someone who hates himself so much that the only thing that makes him feel better is to control another person.  It is truly a reflection of how you feel about yourself if you think that is what you deserve.  "This is as good as it gets."  That is bullshit, my friends.  If you love yourself you will fight your way to the surface of the sea you in which you drown.  When you glow with love from the inside you will attract light. 

I watched a movie a while back and there was a quote that stuck with me. "The person who cares the least has all the power in a relationship".  Relationships shouldn't be a power struggle.  It should be based on mutual respect and understanding.  Built on a foundation of trust and truth.  If one person in the relationship is doing all the work then the dynamics are off kilter.  If you find yourself bending over backwards contantly, or carrying the load yourself, take a moment to re-evaluate.  If you find yourself constantly being the one that compromises, there is something wrong.

If you constantly feel like you are running into a brick wall then that is a sure sign that you have reached a dead end in your current path.  Relationships need to grow.  You need to grow as an individual too.  If the person you are in a relationship with does not want to grow with you, then it is time to move on.  Some relationships fail and it is an opportunity to change directions.  Being open to blessings and allowing the layers of false protection to be peeled away creates healing, strength and peace.

Life will always bring negative voices trying to bring me down, but I don't have to listen to them.  I can do anything that I want to do, and I will.  My will is strong and my courage is even stronger.  The old patterns are so easy to fall back into because the groove runs so deeply.  When I feel like I am on the edge, about to fall back in, I have to stay focused on the now.  Time travel isn't healthy when the past has so much pain.  It isn't healthy to dwell on the ideal someday either.  Making the future consists of the baby steps of now, the building blocks of a life that makes sense and helps me to flourish. 

We all just want to love and be loved, to be accepted, to feel special.  If the God shaped hole is filled first, then the rest of the space inside our hearts will be filled with the blessings from God.  God scooped me up and he holds me now, and it feels better than any arms that have ever held me.  His love has taken me on journeys that I have been longing to take for so long.  I am just beginning.

Even on my weak days I climb back with resilience.  Hard times build character if you accept the truth and learn from your mistakes.  Sometimes the hardest times in our lives can lead us to our greatest joys. 

I am resilient.  :-)   

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