Monday, April 18, 2011

chelle by the seashore

Yesterday I went for a walk on the shore, and it brought tears of joy to my eyes.  I cried because I am so happy to be here.  I feel so blessed.  I get the opportunity to experience the ocean shore and the waves crashing anytime I want.  How awesome is that?  It made me feel so excited.  It is better than I ever dreamed.
When I look back at what I have been through this past year it makes me appreciate all of this.  I am ready to laugh, have a good time and be lighthearted.

Realness.  Reality.  I don't want to live in a fantasy world.  I want to be part of this reality.  I am pushing forward and making things happen instead of living in the fantasies inside my head.  I have to find the truth no matter how bad it sucks sometimes.  The sucky truth led me to this beautiful reality.

I have learned that loving someone is not about the romance.  It is not about saying what you think the other person wants to hear.  It is about seeing all aspects of someone, whether you like it all or not, and loving them anyways.  It is seeing them for who they really are.  Not allowing the romantic notions get in the way of actually letting someone just BE.  It is much more amazing to accept someone just the way they are and to acknowledge the flaws, not pretend they aren't there.  The constant truth.  I always see the good in people, but I want to accept the not so good or see the whole picture not just want I want to see or hear.  I don't want to just acknowledge what suites me.  Love is about having a real connection with someone, not a pretend or forced one.

If I pull the focus away from what I want to see, I can see the beauty of being human, seeing the raw realness.  Seeing the truth, we are all flawed but we all have that in common.  It is a shame to waste moments being insecure or unsure of ourselves, when we are all human.  I am me, and you are you.  There are friendships and connections to be made, and it will come naturally in time.  When I am open to receive, I will and it will be amazing.  Trust that it will happen, and it will.  I will not be left alone in this world.

Expectations are not a good idea.  It is better to just go with it and see what happens.  Expectations set us up for disappointment.  What is the point of doing that to yourself?  When I give myself a break and relax, life will bring me what I need.  Time to enjoy the ride.  

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